A recapitulation of criticism against the theory of childhood - Ari Rahikkala
A recapitulation of criticism against the theory of childhood|
The theory of childhood, also known as child origin, is a damnable, loathsome and indefensible lie. How can any thinking person suppose all humans used to be babies once? Just consider these arguments:
There is no development path from babies to adults, no transitional forms between these two species. Show me even one baby with the head of a grown man on his body. Can you? No? Not even a bearded toddler? No adults with unfused skullbones, outside unfortunate disorders? Not even a tiny little newborn girl suddenly sprouting a respectable bosom? You can't find them, because they don't exist. There isn't a single transitional form between children and adults, and you will never find one because the theory simply is an unscientific lie.
The development of children has been well-researched in our six-month study following a sample of one thousand children and adults of various ages. We have conclusively proven that while there are minor changes in features like height and body fat, and replacement of deciduous teeth with permanent teeth, incontravertibly still every creature in the study that started out as a child had only slightly more adult features at the end of the observation period than at its beginning. Children and adults are separate kinds and there will never be sufficient changes to change one into the other. We reject any evidence from longer-term studies as we believe the laws of physics have changed within the last year.
To claim people come from children is demeaning and morally degrading. We have observed how children behave. If we acted like small children we'd all be demanding and impatient, and we'd be cheating, lying, and stealing from each other all the time. If the theory of childhood were true there would be no morality, and with no morality to build one on, no society. Childhood is a wicked lie used by charlatans to justify evils such as public schools.
There is no consensus on the theory of childhood in the scientific community. We should teach the controversy. Our children will be served well to learn that the prospect of them becoming adults is merely a theoretical idea. Many children come from families that do not subscribe to the theory of childhood, and they could be disturbed if the theory were taught as fact.
|Date:||August 24th, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)|| |
That was brilliant.
"We reject any evidence from longer-term studies as we believe the laws of physics have changed within the last year."
Thanks for that line, because that's all I can think of when I hear real arguments like this.
|Date:||August 25th, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)|| |
|Date:||August 25th, 2008 09:27 am (UTC)|| |
Great writing, indeed. :)
Nicely done! I just wish I had two heads so I could take two hats off to you! :)
|Date:||August 25th, 2008 09:59 pm (UTC)|| |
Now we only need more creationists to read this as well. =D
We need more than change. We need a full-blown turnaround plan and a leader capable of executing it.
I would like to call into question to the theory of death.
Edited at 2008-08-26 04:49 pm (UTC)
|Date:||September 4th, 2008 07:45 pm (UTC)|| |
You are awarded one internets. Congratulations.
|Date:||September 6th, 2008 12:15 am (UTC)|| |
I think theory of childhood is a pretty cool guy. eh satires creationists and doesnt afraid of anything.
As most of us know, one of the things that makes Canada unique is that we’re a nation whose creation does not stem from violence via war or revolution.
Do you mind if I metaquote that?
Mind if I link to the end creationism comm?
Hey, it's the world wide web, linking is what it's about ;).
|Date:||September 7th, 2008 10:59 am (UTC)|| |
And the end creationism comm says "YAY!"
Brilliant parody, and thanks totnesmartin for the link!
|Date:||September 7th, 2008 01:50 pm (UTC)|| |
Seconded. Very nice parody. :-) I sent it off to my dad to enjoy.
|Date:||September 13th, 2008 07:22 am (UTC)|| |
You have been Pharyngula'd
. (And I join in the chorus of praise for this supernaturally awesome parody.)
You've officially won the internet. It shall be presented to you by Al Gore next week.
|Date:||September 9th, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)|| |
This is brilliant; well done!
PS: You've been Pharyngulated
via the metaquotes
comm. :D Congrats!
Edit: bad tags! bad!Edited at 2008-09-09 04:18 am (UTC)
|Date:||September 9th, 2008 10:00 am (UTC)|| |
Have you considered submitting this to Science Creative Quarterly?
I don't believe in submitting things to places ;).
Well, I do, but not a couple of paragraphs I happened to throw out on my blog. The Internet can take care of publishing it (and already has). They're free to run it if they like, and so's everyone else...
|Date:||September 9th, 2008 01:31 pm (UTC)|| |
Thanks for this analogy. I think it is epically perfect!
DOWN WITH CHILDHOOD THEORY!
|Date:||September 10th, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC)|| |
Awesome, added to memories.
|Date:||January 13th, 2009 06:06 pm (UTC)|| |
remembers me of the so called "sorites paradoxon" ...